the two interacting principles

your personal relationships are built on the balance of two interacting principles within yourself: your desire for the other person vis-a-vis your commitment to a set of principles.

you are a composite of the set of principles you hold on to; and you relate to people, bearing those principles in mind, as a second skin.  “birds of the same feather, flock together,” says the old adage.

your desire depends on what you see in that other person; it depends a lot on your need.  and at every step of the way, you choose the people you go with, you talk with, you socialize with, and keep; depending on how they satisfy your needs.

these two principles sometimes come on a head-on collision course, that is, when your desire for the other person comes in conflict with a set of principles you dearly uphold.  it happened to friends of mine (and my wife’s) — she was chinese and her parents strongly wished she would marry a chinese guy; but she loved this non-chinese guy.  she loves and respects her parents (her set of principles;) but wishes to marry this non-chinese but godly man (her desire.)

yours may not always be as close a call and as drastic a decision as that.  oftentimes, it is merely a matter of sacrificing your tastes, preferences, views, or perspective; and not insisting that yours is the right one or the better one; in order to keep or sustain a cordial relationship with the person you love.

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