trust is one of the principal ingredients of friendship. when trust is gone or eroded, friendship falls apart.
one of the saddest things that can happen in a friendship is the betrayal of trust. this often takes place when confidences are broken, ie. when information that is considered confidential between two friends leaks out, and the cause is, one of the two either carelessly or purposely shares it with someone, and you learn of it either from others or from the person to whom it had been divulged by your friend. this often results in hurt feelings, doubts about the loyalty of your friend, and a subsequent distancing of relations.
it takes time to heal… if it ever will.
there is a certain transparency and a sense of abandon we indulge, when we talk with friends, especially when criticizing other people. we tend to be carefree and careless, knowing that we won’t be judged, and we won’t be ratted out. it often borders on gossiping, (which is wrong,) but it is the way of friends; and it is often justified by claims of being concerned about others (which, sometimes… is true).
which is why when information shared in the confidentiality of the friendship leaks out, it reveals a tear at the seams — the friendship has started to fall apart.
this is especially true, if your friend tells the person who was talked about, that she/he was, in fact, criticized by you. it is a spreading of hearsay, and often does not represent fairly what you said (the criticism) of the person. this is a betrayal of trust.
this is the ill effect of the disclosure to the person talked about: she/he now has cause to take offense at you, based purely on the hearsay.
the needle and damage had been done.