bean-boozled!

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i was bean-boozled!

my youngest daughter, meg, asked me and my wife to play ‘bean-boozled.’  i had no idea what it was; but she said it was exciting.  she asked me if i had tasted ‘booger’ before… i thought, of course i have!

she opened a pack of jelly beans of various colors and told us that each color had two opposite flavours, one delicious and one horrible.  it was the luck of the draw to get one or the other.  and so she piled up the beans by coloreight piles in all.

the first pile she made us pick from was the pile with the ‘booger’ or the ‘juicy pear’ flavours.  it was either one of the two — i got ‘booger!’

‘does it taste like booger?’ meg asked.

‘nah, real booger tastes more salty than this!’ i replied.

next was either ‘baby wipes’ or ‘coconut’i got ‘baby wipes!’

then, ‘lawn clippings’ or ‘lime.’  what tasted like newly cut grass couldn’t be lime, i thought.

the only horrible flavour that i picked, that wasn’t as bad as the others was the ‘toothpaste’ (vs ‘berry blue.’)  everybody agreed, we all have enjoyed swallowing mint-flavoured toothpaste before.

out of the eight horrible flavours i could possibly have chosen, i was lucky enough to miss one, the ‘stinky socks.’  for that round i got the ‘tutti-frutti.’

for the whole challenge, i got 7 horrible flavours out of 8.  and the flavours tasted so much like the names they came with.  i also got ‘rotten egg’ instead of ‘buttered popcorn.’

but the most disgusting and execrable flavour i ever tasted was the ‘vomit!’  this almost made me literally vomit!  it almost turned my stomach upside-down.  my head almost started spinning.  this was the second to the last draw.

there was still one last one, hopefully i might get a delicious one to wash out that ‘vomit.’  it was a choice between ‘canned dog food’ and ‘chocolate pudding.’ 

wow, i thought, chocolate pudding!

i got ‘canned dog food.’

 

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huaraches

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i am posting this for the simple reason that it is the first time i have used huarache sandals or huaraches.  not only is it the first time i have used huaraches (in my entire life) but i made this pair myself.  this being the first pair i have used and made, i expect to be using (and making) more in the days to come.  this is simply… for the record.

these are by no means the ‘real deal’ huaraches.  they are mere adaptations, made of low-cost and easily available materials: the soles are taken from rubber slippers (flip-flops) that were on sale at the local department store nearby.  i inverted the slippers because the top part was glossy and slippery (oh, is that why they’re called ‘slippers?’) so what appears on the picture is really the underside, which had better traction on my soles (for running.)  the thongs are made from old shoe laces i took from my long boots — they measure 6 feet in length (sufficient to make the thongs.)

‘real deal’ huaraches are made of leather, both soles and thongs; and obviously are more durable than my home made pair; (but, as i said earlier, i expect to be using and making more in the days to come — this includes making one completely from genuine leather.)  the modified huarache soles are made of various non-slippery materials (the few blogs i have read offer a variety of alternatives, from rubber car mats to pigskins)i have decided to go for old rubber tires; i have already asked for an old tire from a nearby garage (jeepney depot) and they would gladly give me one for free.  the two alternatives i will be using for thongs would be thick shoe laces (twice in diameter than what is in the picture) and (i hope i can soon find a nearby store that carries them) parachute cord or para-cord.

i have tried running barefoot, a few times, and have found satisfaction in it.  i would continue doing so, despite having suffered a minor incident — my sole took in a tiny splinter which kept pricking me as i jogged.  huaraches serve as a minimal barrier of protection against such splinters, or worse — sharp objects, as broken bottles or metal fragments (which can really do severe damage!)  huaraches enable you to run barefoot-style… with protection.

my average run (in my present overweight condition) is an hour (best run is an hour and a half:) my huaraches have been tested on concrete for that duration, and results are satisfying!  i have also ran (shod) a 10K off-road course which took me almost 2 hours (with two 5-minute pit stops.)  it’s a course worthy to be ran again on huaraches, to test if the construction of the huaraches is durable enough to survive the ordeal.

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hear ye!

i was running late entering sunday morning worship service: the liquid contents of the cup i was holding spilled all over the tiled floor as i sprinted down the aisle, leaving a delectable aroma of freshly brewed coffee all over the place.  with disheveled hair and wearing a crumpled, un-ironed shirt, i waved at everybody to their delight, and sat down gasping for breath.

i didn’t realize there was a wake in church this morning.  joyful and vibrant singing had passed away.  the whole congregation was mourning, (but clueless,) as the melody dragged its feet, as they sang, ‘glory be the God the Father, glory be to God the Son…’

then the minister stood behind the pulpit, took out the little black book, and dished out the free exposition, way above the heads of the small cosmopolitan congregation.  those who were able to reach it had longer arms than the rest and had the ability to stretch it out to grasp the lofty expressions.  the others held on to the little they could get their hands on, that was delivered just slightly above their heads.

the rest did not get much — if at all they did get anything.

some were like prophets in a trance, transported elsewhere in an altered state of consciousness — hearing words audibly in one’s head and seeing alternate visions… dreaming.

some brought their darling pets along with them and were obviously distracted all the way, to get anything of what was thrown above the heads of the listless mob.  at every turn the pet would fidget in their heads and claw on their thoughts compelling them to yield to its demands: whatever it takes to draw their attention away from the free exposition, the darling pet does.

many missed the free exposition swirling right above their heads because they were either too busy calling the attention of those people they knew needed it most and happily pointing the finger at them; others threw the free exposition back at the minister with the little black book in resentment and avowed disapproval; others, being too self-absorbed, tried to avoid spears hurling in their direction, seeing how sharp the ends were that pointed towards them.

others were not able to get much because the free exposition delivered above the heads of the congregation had already fallen on the floor and splattered in an indistinguishable mass before they could extend their hands to catch some.  all they could get to in good time were the refreshments, which were served after the free exposition.  too little… too late!

but the rest who forsake the assembly — and those who habitually do so — were slowly being transplanted by north koreans, soviets, and iraqis who would have loved free exposition, but are either prohibited, bound and imprisoned, or, happily… have been killed.

hear ye!