i don’t think so

normal people do not — cannot — really understand what people suffering from depression go through.  yes, they try — but that’s about it… try.  but try as they might, they really cannot understand.  they are normal people.

but the people who do understand, leave us alone.  this is good; because they know they can neither say nor do anything to cure us.  the best they can do is help alleviate some sadness — through shared laughter or productive activity.  (this creates a helpful distraction for the depressed mind to focus temporarily on something other than its own miserable condition.)  but just by being there, the people who understand, unknowingly (or knowingly) offer an anchor of hope.  these people can pull you up and out when your “knees” are strong enough to stand — but for now, their being there already offers a lifeline.

lecturing doesn’t help — you cannot talk a person out of depression — it only makes matters worse.  it feels like being run over by a car after having been hit by another.

i also do not want to talk about my depression — the whys and wherefores.  i want to talk about something else — anything and everything else — altogether.  people who try to understand let you talk about your depression so they can try harder to understand.  but they can’t.  all they can is try.  they may suppose that talking about your depression will help you out of it.  they are completely mistaken.  the contrary is true.  the moment i talk about the whys and wherefores of my depression, i get darned more depressed.  is this what will bring me up and out of this misery???

i don’t think so.

cochinillo español (lutong-bahay)

Screenshot_2016-09-04-12-34-43_1.jpg

nag-level-up na ang handa.  kung ang dati-rating hinahanda sa hapag-kainan kung may birthday o special occasion ay crispy pata o lechon de pugon, ngayon cochinillo español na.  eh, birthday ni dea, panganay na anak namin ni jane…

hindi biro-biro ang pag level-up na to.  una, lubhang mas mahal ang magluto ng cochinillo kaysa crispy pata o lechon de pugon — mahigit doble ang gastos.  ikalawa, (on the positive side naman,) eh… lubhang mas napakasarap at mas napakalinamnam ng cochinillo kumpara sa dalawa.

hindi kasi karaniwang lechon de leche ang cochinillo español.  kakaiba ang pagluto nito.  hindi tinutuhog ng kawayan ang biik at iniikot sa baga ng ilang oras, na karaniwang paraan ng paglilitson.  niluluto ang cochinillo español sa malaking oven o pugon.

una, sa paglinis ng biik pagkatapos katayin, binibiyak ito sa likod (mula ilong, batok, patawid sa backbones, puwet, deretso sa ilalim ng hita hanggang sa pusod.)  ito ay upang maibuklat ito sa baking pan sa pagluluto.

ikalawa, pinapahiran ang laman at balat ng biik ng asin, paminta, at pinitpit na bawang, bago lutuin.

ikatlo, binabasa ng tubig ang balat ng biik habang niluluto.

at ikaapat, pinapahiran ng butter, olive oil, o magkahalong butter at olive oil ang balat nito, pag malapit na itong maluto at pinalulutong na lang ang balat.

received_1232617573438486

kaya naman, hindi na kailangan pa ng sarsa o kung-anu-anong mapalamuting sawsawan para malasap ang tunay na sarap at linamnam ng cohchinillo español (kahit lutong-bahay.)