normal people do not — cannot — really understand what people suffering from depression go through. yes, they try — but that’s about it… try. but try as they might, they really cannot understand. they are normal people.
but the people who do understand, leave us alone. this is good; because they know they can neither say nor do anything to cure us. the best they can do is help alleviate some sadness — through shared laughter or productive activity. (this creates a helpful distraction for the depressed mind to focus temporarily on something other than its own miserable condition.) but just by being there, the people who understand, unknowingly (or knowingly) offer an anchor of hope. these people can pull you up and out when your “knees” are strong enough to stand — but for now, their being there already offers a lifeline.
lecturing doesn’t help — you cannot talk a person out of depression — it only makes matters worse. it feels like being run over by a car after having been hit by another.
i also do not want to talk about my depression — the whys and wherefores. i want to talk about something else — anything and everything else — altogether. people who try to understand let you talk about your depression so they can try harder to understand. but they can’t. all they can is try. they may suppose that talking about your depression will help you out of it. they are completely mistaken. the contrary is true. the moment i talk about the whys and wherefores of my depression, i get darned more depressed. is this what will bring me up and out of this misery???
i don’t think so.